existentialism, as a blog

January 12, 2017

There is something in the dark, something that we can’t define but that we naturally seem to sense. It’s what drives us to fight to stay awake past bedtime as kids, to pull all-nighters as kids with IDs that say we can drink and it is what (beyond Netflix) makes us stay up until 1 a.m. on work nights as kids with bills that say we need jobs. It is a restless potential. It is an eclipsing of life’s hard edges. It is an overshadowing of all of life’s have-to’s. It leaves a space where we can feel the most like ourselves; our ideas and hopes have space to move around in the blank and blanketed darkness, our pants, bras and daily demands can be shed.

When our alarms go off first at 7:15, then 7:30, then 7:45 and ultimately at 8:15 and we rush through a stunted morning routine, not being ourselves but being employees that need to be to work in 45 minutes, it is something for us to look forward to. We will work all day, exhaust our energies and come home to be hugged by our sofas and the nigh...

August 24, 2016

I am ambitious. I mean this not in the "Cheryl is an ambitious and bright individual..." reference letter sort of way but more in the I-am-constantly-creating-new-(read: maybe-too-many)-ambitions-for-myself way. 

While I was pregnant, the first nursery theme that didn't strike me as too boyish or girly or neutral (Here's looking at you, grey. I'm over it. You've had your time but really you are just middle-of-the-road and noncommittal) was [plant] nursery nursery. One, it's a play on words which is one of my very favorite things and two, it is important to me that my son grows up around greenery despite the fact that his first few years will be spent living in a glass box 250 feet up in the air. Thus, the best option was for the little newb's room to have some plants in it; nursery nursery. We filled our baby registry with lime and lemon trees, naturally, both of which we ended up receiving along with a starter kit for creating a living wall. We were set, verdancy would be ours!...

April 9, 2016

 

So let me set the scene. (Because that's what writers do, right?)

 

It's Friday night. Dave is at the White Sox home opener. A small bug has nursed himself into a *fingers crossed* long slumber (to keep the writer theme going- this is my own suspension of disbelief). Mi madre, who is currently a fellow resident of our reno while she looks for an apartment in the city, and I ordered Thai food. I am wearing one of these and sitting at my brand new floating desk that Dave created for me. It turns a slightly awkward, tucked away corner space into a functional office nook that allows me to focus better on my writing. While it is true that my novel has found parts of itself born during showers, on long Canadian hikes and in the Notes app on my phone, I think it will find its completion at this little desk. Maybe even this year. Suspension of disbelief?

 

Consistency is key.

 

I have a consistent key that unlocks inconsistent doors.

 

I’m not quite sure what a routine looks like but I hear its stabi...

April 9, 2016

Friday mornings have become blog-editing time. I consolidate the blurbs that I have written throughout the week into one piece and then I reread it a few times, making sure my tangents track back to a cohesive idea and checking for the insane number of typos that occur when your brain has been demoted to the less-than-human-four-hours-of-sleep state. Then I post it. Then my sister-in-law texts me to share all of the typos that she still found.

 

Not this Friday morning, though. This Friday morning there will be no typos. Just kiding. The thing about this Friday morning that is different is that it is when I am actually writing the whole blog piece. This week has been even more crazy than usual. I can’t help but think of the saying “And the plot thickens…”- what if your plot is so thick it is officially a solid? Then what.

 

Anyway, the plot thickens.

 

This week we had a photo shoot for our furniture design business, traveling around to various clients’ homes to photograph pieces and ultimat...

March 18, 2016

I do a lot of things with words. The obvious. I write with them, both in sentences so long that I believe they would make Oscar Wilde proud and some paragraphs jealous, and then in ones so short that Microsoft Word regularly demands that I revise them because it can't see the forest for the tree fragments. I filter the world through them, experiencing things not firsthand but through how I would write them. I purposely mispronounce them (jalapeño = juh-lop-uh-no, mango = man-gwa-hey). I make them up and then defer to my Shakespearean license when my fiancé points out their lack of Merriam-Webster presence. I change their parts of speech when the ones generally accepted for them don't suit my needs. I hitch them together with hyphens and then change their parts of speech when the ones generally accepted for them don't suit my needs. I do this even in letters to prospective agents (is this why they don't call me?!). I use a lot of them when they are superfluous and not enough when they a...

March 11, 2016

I was going to write about food.

 

I have quite a few notes about food. The specific one I was thinking of using this week is both food and wedding related. You see, before it was decided that we would put recipes on our wedding invitations but after it was determined that something food related would be done, I wrote a series of food quips. Short sentences that were fun to read and conveyed something of real food wisdom. I thought maybe those could go on the flipside of the invitation. But truthfully, immense love of cooking and consuming aside, I mostly wanted to add something else to the card to make it a little less...useless. I know that some people will keep our invitation out of sentiment (the smallest group), many will keep them out of habit (something has to clutter the fridge door, doesnt't it?!), some will guiltifully throw them away (toooootally cool with me as long as they are actually recycled and not trashed) and just a handful (I would be in this group) will copy down the...

March 4, 2016

 

 God made humans. Space dust made humans. Humans make humans. Regardless of which of these you believe in, there is one universal truth that cannot be denied - showers make you human. There is something so satisfying and necessary about showering. Showers bring you back. Showers forgive. Showers are beautiful. They are also the well from which brilliant ideas

spring. Ingenious nuggets are coded in the water, tapped out like Morse Code on the skin and transmitted to the brain.

 

They are life-changing, insightful, maybe lucrative, and then they are gone, washed down the drain because just like the flashes of genius that we have all right before falling asleep, we are so convinced that the sheer magnitude of these ideas will make them indelible in our minds that there is no need to do anything to keep them. We are wrong. Most of these ideas demand tangibility or they will flee. Write me down, commit, or I'm out. 

 

Too many of my ideas have returned to the communal pool of kno...

February 24, 2016

 

Here goes everything. Welcome to A Certain Lifestyle. Hence forth you will find fiction, nonfiction, recipes (sorta), organizing tids and decorating bits; the ongoings of yet another person in the vast cosmos of other people's ongoings that the Internet contains. To give you a more quantitative look at what I might be sharing, here are some numbers: I have 1 nine-week-old son, 2 businesses, 1 furniture and 1 professional organizing, started within the last year, 1 condo to renovate and decorate, 29 books to read before I turn 30 next year (admittedly I only got to 24 of the 28 before I turned 29), 119 days until my self-catered, diy wedding with 250+ guests who recently received 140 handwritten recipes on the backs of their invitations, 21 flights of stairs to climb because the elevator never toned anyone's backside, 3 children's books that I am working toward getting published, 100 daily ounces of water to drink, 2 novels that divide their existence between Word documents on my lapto...

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